my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
