Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
