There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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