Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
