just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
