i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
