Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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