I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
