just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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