weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
