Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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