Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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