He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
