you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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