dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize