Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
my liver is dry heaving
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize