wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
