i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Randomize
