I think my vagina is haunted
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
you will always have a special place in my vag
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
