Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Me too!
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
