had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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