i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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