I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
