it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
