these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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