Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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