there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
