As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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