Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
