so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
