that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
