I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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