I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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