I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
