I got chris browned last night
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
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