Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
