By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
