Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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