dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
