your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
