After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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