somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
