weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize