Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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