I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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