You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
