He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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