Just cropdusted the office
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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