Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(619): View more from California

He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.

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(251): View more from Alabama

I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled

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(630): View more from Illinois

She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out

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(705): View more from Ontario

I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.

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(540): View more from Virginia

AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA

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(520): View more from Arizona

Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner

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