So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
He felt like a one man threesome
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
