yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He felt like a one man threesome
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
We don't watch enough power rangers
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
