Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
