Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
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