have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
