i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
No I am not eating basil off your cock
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
