Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
